Relationships can be hard, especially navigating separation and connection. But, I’ve noticed something in my works, and in my own personal life.

Lots of reasons!

Maybe we think if we take some space apart, we might lose our partners.
Maybe we struggle to express when we want to be alone, because we’re afraid of how our partners might react if we ask.
Maybe we don’t even realise when we need to be alone. Sometimes we might even strive to be together even more when a deeper need to be alone comes up for us.
Maybe as children our parents didn’t make it easy for us to spend time on our own. Or maybe we spent too much time alone, and don’t want to feel like that again!

If we don’t take space, the relationship can start to strain.

Without time apart, the times when we are together can lose meaning. Being apart for a while, for example, means we have more to talk about when we come back together!
If we don’t create space, our partners may start to feel smothered. This can be painful for both people!
If we’re seeking connection because we’re afraid of being alone, our partners might feel annoyed or unloved, because they might sense that we’re not being with them because we want to, but only because we have to. They might even feel used!
We can lose our sense of self, merging with our partner, because we spend some much time with them and not enough time with ourselves. We can start to struggle to identify what we want or think.

There are a couple of steps to this, some more difficult than others, depending on the person:

Get Better at Realising When You Need Some Space!
Identify when you are being with you partner for the wrong reasons (to escape feelings of loneliness, boredom, stress etc.). Be especially aware if you are losing your sense of self. Be clear with yourself if, for whatever reason, you want to be alone.
Take the risk to own it and communicate to your partner that you want some space.
Tell them you would like some space. Let them know how long this might be. Let them know that you’re looking forward to coming back together afterwards. Maybe even make a plan for when that coming back together might be.
Take the time, and really embrace it!
Don’t text your partner unless it’s necessary. Immerse yourself in the space. Spend the time in whatever way works best for you. Feel any feelings that come up!
When you’re done, let your partner know that you’re back!
Say clearly when you’re back and don’t need space anymore. Maybe give them a hug, or thank them for giving you space. Let them know you’re ready to connect and spend time together if they’re up for it.